Guardian Article on hard work doesn’t achieve dreams alone…
And I agree. But as a life coach I am supposed to spout the ideals that effort = achievement. And I do believe this, but it also needs some additional ingredients.
Psychologically – self esteem, self belief, positive outlook (NLP’s toward mind-set or pleasure seeking principle)
Practically – support, information and knowledge, awareness outside of your original background, self belief and related efforts in the right direction
Emotionally – sound basis in life, positive and helpful experiences, people who believed in your and told you/showed you, opportunities taken to look outside yourself, reflection back form others you are good enough, worthy to be there, you fit in …
Class is still around in the UK and the world. It matters. But if doesn’t have to define you – or me. I know the belief has had a huge impact on my beliefs and therefore my life. It came at school and I have never forgotten it.
But outside of that, I still believe ‘anything is possible’ and am told in many life sectors this is true. I see it too, and I can’t help but believe it. But is it true for everyone? If so, how, if not, why not?
Put simply it’s education. Not the formal system, the school or colleges you attended, or the further education you chose to undertake but the experiential kind.
This is why LIFE coaching helps, why LIFE COACHING transfers into its various sectors and focuses; the process is the same or similar, the focus changes and varies, and the practitioner provides the different perspectives they bring from their experiential education!
Agree? Understand and see that?
Maybe, maybe not. However, I do think this. Why? My own experiences, my own eyes, my formal education and training, my values and beliefs developed over my lifetime (and that applies, regardless of age but not regardless of what you have been immersed in within your lifetime!)
Immersed in – that’s the bit for me, I think, that will determine your success or failure to achieve your dream(s).
We all have dreams. We all have beliefs. Expectations, needs, option, opportunities, perspectives, insights …and life experiences.
We are told that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others, to their lives and opportunities, benefits and wealth (money, education, opportunity, and more) but we do. We need that to drive us, to inform us and to motivate the needs within us.
We are told to be happy with what we have – but again, how does that help us or the world, society and national or community if we stay where we are?
We are told to appreciate what we have – I agree, we should. I try. I often do. But things are missing for me, as I guess they are for you. I’m happy with what I have – but I want more of some things, or things I lack, and less of some things I have and you have!
‘They’ suggest we are positive or negative in outlook – I say its careful or solution-searching, albeit the pain avoidance stance that some see as ‘negative’ (maybe only positive people who are pleasure seekers see that and say that?!)
I am not negative. I am sceptical. I am a pain avoider and at times a pleasure seeker! I have created my own problems being one or other, but at least I know which and can/have learned from it!
But now, what if I didn’t know? What if you don’t know what you don’t know, don’t know the options that exist outside of your known universe? What if there are opportunities you could take advantage of …but you have no idea of them or how to get them?
This, then, for me, is the limiting belief. The limiting circumstances that people live with.
And again, what sort of people are saying and thinking this about limiting beliefs?
I come from both sides perhaps, again, my background, experiences, expectations and my personal needs that not even my family understand or know (perhaps with many people if not every person!)
I have limiting beliefs, and I know where they come from and why.
I know people who have limiting beliefs and who don’t know why or where they come from – and so will also therefore not have the solutions to change those circumstances!
I come to life coaching precise for this reason. TO share my knowledge and open minds as well as eyes to options and opportunities
But for me, too, maybe my limiting beliefs hold me back and I know them, the options and the solutions. But what if I lack another ingredient – positive reflection from others, or lack of support and encouragement, or lack of opportunity to find that perfect job?
It isn’t true that anyone can do anything. It’s potentially possible but there are many obstacles in the way, many people to push you down or back, and many who, if you know them, will raise you higher than you ever thought possible!
The gap between them? KNOWLEDDGE! COMMUNICATION! AWARENESS come from both of these. Knowledge shared by others, communicating it in a way others can take hold of.
Communication that you don’t believe you have what it takes to meet another’s needs – new job, training, partners in love and marriage, social groups and more! Communication of what is beyond your previous awareness and perspectives, your environment – circumstances, self-image, reflection from others, judgements or lack of, boundaries or lack of
Awareness comes from all these and more. It is seeing or hearing about new ideas, but also then embracing them, learning about them, seeing your place within them and taking steps to get you to those situations you want to find yourself in!
So KNOWLEDGE comes from EDUCATION, which in turn comes from COMMUNICATION and UNDERSTANING, then from APPLICATION to your life and you!
Keep looking, keep learning, keep trying! But keep an eye out for alternatives, the one to the side not just ahead, even the one behind that might now be more relevant like contacts, places or ideas you can now make into reality!
Anything is possible within the right circumstances, the right environment!
Nothing is impossible if you believe in it – and work hard for it – but first, you have to know about it, that it even exists – or even when it doesn’t (yet) but yet may be possible if you work out how!