It is widely believed because ‘they don’t talk and share’ like women do.
Is that true though? Yes, often it is. But why not? Because men are logical and practical and they are ‘supposed’ to be ‘capable’ and ‘able’ to manage ‘anything’!
So many inverted commas! Because they are human beings too, with thoughts and feelings, beliefs and expectations, with needs for safety, food, love and purpose – more than just ‘the breadwinner’ and ‘the man of the house’ and due to such labels those “expectations” still lie around us, in society.
Men struggle to talk because naturally women need to use 3000 words a day, men only 600! I read it somewhere and believe it.
Men are ‘strong and silent’ types – but why do they need to be, prone to similar if different pressures to women juggling home and work, choices and demands, options and opportunities.
Suicide in young men is more prevalent perhaps too because they would take those actions – ‘braver’ maybe?
Because they feel inadequate in a world or family/community/society that demands they ‘take care’ of the more vulnerable (including women?!)
Because they fear ‘looking weak/silly/less then …” – less than what? Human?
Men realistically don’t always see the world like women. We are different in many ways but there are similarities in our humanity too! Men can learn to talk about problems, learn to help and support their friends, be vulnerable and be strong too – and override their natural tendencies perhaps, to be strong and silent, practical and solution-focussed!
What you can do:
- Open up even a little
- Write it down – helps to ‘feel heard’, and maybe use that to ‘speak up’ if face to face ‘admission’ is hard!
- Ask around who in your social group has struggled – most if not all have or are!
- Talk to your partner, your family, your friends, to professionals like GP or therapists
- Talk to your boss about unrealistic targets or expectations – like doing three peoples job
- Talk to your children about the pressures you feel – because one day it will be them too!
- Talk with your partner about sharing chores and tasks, responsibilities and realistic needs (big holiday, more money, house?)
- Ask for tools, tips and techniques to manage workloads + responsibilities from your dad, your mum, other people
- Read about options, ideas, perspectives, solutions you can use to manage whatever your problems are
- Take small steps to improve your situation – speak up, change behaviours, ask for help, ask for changes
- Assert your rights and your needs, be realistic and manage your boundaries and your demands
- Manage your stress for success – positive stress drives you, negative stress binds you!