How to Help Yourself

Clear Mind Personal Development Coaching
  • Self-help
  • Self-serving
  • Help yourself!
  • Help your Self!
  • Help yourself to anything
  • Help yourself to achieve
  • Help your Self to achieve
  • Help yourself to make things happen
  • Help yourself to overcome your barriers

So many perspectives and connotations!

But you are responsible for yourself, and accountable to yourself (and potentially others – see post), and you can always ‘Help’ your ‘Self’ – to get, to be, to achieve, to understand.

Key to this ‘personal power’ to help your Self is awareness of what you want, need, have, can and cannot do or be, and the self-belief and self-trust that you can have and be whoever you want to be deep inside!

Personal power is the power to make things happen for YOU, not someone else.

To meet YOUR needs and desires.

To become and be who you feel most comfortable being, doing what you love

Doing what satisfies your inner needs of value and purpose

You are the only person who can help yourself.

Others will help you – if you ask, if they see your need or if you take opportunities around you.

Others will help when it also meets their value and needs to help others – altruistically, but always an inner satisfaction to be helpful.


If you are people-pleasing then it simply means you don’t value your Self and needs as much as others and ‘buy’ their love or attention etc.  You can change that!

If perhaps you create or offer a win-win situation all the better – mutual benefit, sharing, shared value at no-ones expense.

Maybe you do what you do because it gets you where you want to be, a stepping stone to your goal achievement – all fine, if no-one gets hurt in the process (win-win the aim!) and that’s OK.


Manipulation is how we meet our needs – manipulating people or situations, taking opportunities or recognising options – it isn’t negative, it’s a real positive but it’s what we do to meet our needs.

‘To manipulate’ simply means to alter something to meet a need – when you ask for help, you manipulate someone to do that (willingly), when you put the heat on at home you manipulate your environment to be more comfortable on a cold night!  When we earn more commission we manipulate our circumstances to have more to spend and meet our need to have bigger, better things and opportunities in our life!

Manipulating figures or statistics doesn’t mean it isn’t true – facts are facts, numbers are numbers, but how you present them or change them with new perspectives gives you a different outcome or viewpoint!

Manipulating your muscles and joints with therapy, your chakras and energies with holistics, are all ways of using what we have and need to meet other needs and comfort!

That’s all.  It’s natural, it’s normal, it’s helpful!

Negatively manipulating people (situations, circumstances whatever is always about people!)

Self-sabotage is the opposite of this positive manipulation to help your Self – manipulating something that should and will be good for you, to make it unhelpful and meet, sometimes a ‘secondary gain’ like ‘being rescued’ and helpless, important rather than ignored.

Manipulating someone to ‘best them’ and hurt them, to meet your needs (which are often negative to begin with, for the wrong reasons anyway!).

Children are experts at this and they learn techniques they take into adulthood and use unknowingly and naturally to manipulate their needs and environment, but sometimes for negative reasons – hence ‘manipulation’ has negative connotations mostly!