“Enoughness”

1. When are you ‘enough’?  I believe it’s always!

I read once on the BACP website many years ago “I’m Ok as I am, always” and I took that on for my counselling and then coaching work.   This says ‘you are good enough’ – or me too!

This is the word I found in a colleague’s post motivated to find enough for the 99 days until year end from last week.  And I like it!  I said I would try this too – find things that are enough for or as me each day

Who says we have to be ‘proper’ and ‘ correct’?   (“Political correctness” seems pointless in some cases)  I like words that challenge the norm, made up and on the mark like this one!

So when are you enough?   Every day!  How are you enough?  Being yourself and learning, growing, developing every day! You have space to grow, to learn, to try, to make mistakes and try again.   It is enough to try.  It is enough to learn – and we learn something new every day, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.

In my counselling and coaching service I encourage people to look at what is enough for them – not overwhelm themselves (which is what brought them to me in the first place and we can learn to better manage life).

Why?  Because I’ve learned this hard lesson and it can be avoided.  You can achieve so much – in fact, everything and anything you want to (but you really do have to want it!)

2. Who measures ‘enough’ for you, in your life?  

Well, it should be you, you know!  If it is – great, you’ve learned that one already.   But if it isn’t…’who did you think it was or should be – and why?

3. What does enough look like – for example, on  a graph – a list of …what?

  • Characteristics/personality scores
  • Achievements to date or to get
  • Efforts made already and what more will be ‘enough’?
  • Standards you set yourself and others

4. How do you measure ‘enough’?

Well, you don’t. You feel it!  You know when enough is enough and when you are enough – even just for now as you grow daily. 

  • When you have made enough effort and are tired of doing more
  • When you feel overwhelmed with the task ahead
  • When you aren’t getting where you want to be
  • When it never seems enough for others!

5. Don’t try to be enough for someone else

– you will rarely make it if you have to try!  You are enough, you are you.  Expect to be accepted whilst you learn and grow, whilst you experience life and lessons…

These are ideas – examples – of what ‘enough’ might be for you, in your life.  Stop and think about it.  What are your limits – in effort, days or months, in steps you try and mistakes you make – and more often than not, when you feel it isn’t working for you? 

 

Further reading:

www.selfdevelopmentsecrets.com/not-good-enough

Marc & Angel on ‘enough’