Coaching is not an easily understood or familiar concept, nor the process behind it …or the reason and uses of it for that matter either!
Coaching can offer you a new structure having lost the one that’s been in place for years often. Changes to your current situation – be that business management, career path or home and family – means you can be left floundering in too much space and time! Unless you plan to use it effectively and fill it with fun and helpful ‘other things’!
For example, when the ‘children’ are leaving home for college, uni or self-sufficiency (well, maybe …!) – you can lose the life structure you had, the boundaries and often restrictions on care, bed at 10, school run etc.
And to be left floundering in a wide, open space of freedom of choice, time and empty nests can be pretty scary! Not just for mum, but dad and siblings too. Managing this new opportunity for you – and your partner, wider family members – means learning to re-adjust to a missing piece, or different boundaries and restrictions you’ve worked around for so long!
It’s scary, isn’t it?
Without structure in our life, we can flounder, we can get lost and confused, overwhelmed with TOO MUCH space, time and choice! Who knew? No doubt many people would love some more time and space to do their thing but when we have it we need to know what we are going to do with it!
When I reached my ’empty next’ stage, I had plans! I was ready, I was excited that not only did I have plans and goals, my youngest daughter did too! I had done my bit and taught her what I could, I thought, and she was happy (?!?!??) to go off to uni. But she wasn’t happy, and she didn’t stay. What?!?!? My plans askew…this was something I HADN’T planned for! Hadn’t even considered after my eldest went and didn’t come back.
But I eventually adapted and we do adapt. But with forethought, insight and a little forward planning it could have happier and easier for us both! In fact, had she also done a little fore-thinking and planning, maybe she would have realised it wasn’t for her at all, and taken the path of active work instead, earlier and saved herself a lot of time, upset and money!
And that is where coaching helps. Forethought, Insights, Options, Ideas, Perspectives, new ways of seeing and thinking, and feelings identified and managed. This might sound to preconceived for some, but we do it anyway – and hence we are surprised if the expected path doesn’t materialise – because we ‘planned’ for the wrong thing!
Career is birth to death, as children learning who we are, what we can and can’t have, what we are good at and what we need to leave alone or try to develop! This goes on into teens and young adulthood …and well beyond! To the grave in fact! We keep learning, we keep developing and re-learning, trying and growing, changing and moving. Our desires change, out options change, our opportunities come and go, and we look back longingly for the lost ones, and sometimes then miss the ones coming up for us!
Another option is that we can learn to challenge what we believe or are told we can and cannot have! What options and opportunities are ‘out there’ for us. We can decide on them, find them or even create them!
So empty nest, starting out on careers, interviewing, retirement, changing roles or company, moving sector to sector and developing new skills as well as ideas and experience – we never stay the same!
Coaching not only looks at you, too, but the impact on changes you plan for those around you, for all areas of your life and living, and then how to cater for those impacts that again can hold you back or propel you forward!
Living your dream is not as easy as dreaming, making it happen and loving it! It needs work, planning, action and fore-thought. Even then life throws in a few odd spanners or a gift we just didn’t see coming!
You don’t need to be a control freak to want to know how to manage the future a little, and plans are flexible and we can adapt, tack our sails to prevailing winds, put things back a tad or push on ahead when the going is ideal!
Who knows what lies ahead? No one. But we can try to plan, and if we have to go off course, at least when the time is right we can pull ourselves back on course and build the life we want to live…