Being yourself – what does that really mean for you?

I have just been on social media and found two items that relate to this topic by accident

  1. Thrive – encouraging self discovery and personal growth – personal development
  2. The quote above which again is so true, and as we develop happens regularly
  3. Being in flow

All these things and more relate to your ‘self’.

If you want to have personal power, live the life you want to live and have a better personal future (key points for my business objectives!) then self-awareness is key as I always say.

And this is why…

 “If you don’t know where you’re going you might end up somewhere else

In my life and self-discovery, I wish I had known this when I was younger.   I didn’t have a plan as such – a general ‘want to be happy, have money and a nice car, family and love’.

This is your life But even then, in my 20s, I was aware that things didn’t just happen, they didn’t appear and sometimes I was going to have to change things that had become ‘comfortable’ but not helpful!

One was a relationship.   I knew it wasn’t my destiny, and I knew it wouldn’t last.  But I stayed with it.  Or maybe that is when I started to move away from it and it became clear I was right … perspectives, you see!  Anyway, I remember it.

Another at 14 when I was searching for my career – then it was what you did was for life.  Now, in my lifetime, it’s not true!  I enquired about social work, was told I was too sensitive and moved away from it only to get back to ‘supporting people’ as I do counselling and coaching, and up until then in administration and secretarial.  I am a helper, a supporter, a motivator, a believer and a doer.

I discovered life coaching in 2006 and have never looked back because it gave me the insight and the knowledge to make things happen for me in my life.  I found my niche, I found the tools and I found the process (I do like process and procedure I must say!)

I am about to embark on a year of travel – maybe not all year, or a full year, or a whole world experience – I don’t yet know, but this is the year, the time, the moment!  And I am ready to embrace it and take the opportunity as it has arisen for me.   A few things pushed and pulled, a couple of things fell into timely place and my plans over many years are coming to fruition.growth

I say plans – my dreams, wishes, hopes and vision yes, even steps and actions, but not a restrictive, prescriptive plan at all.  As with life coaching planning, it is far from one size fits all, a regular procedure step by step to be followed – but a process nonetheless.

Process is good – for me at least.  It is development, growth, steady paced or spurts, change and review, but all in all about development.   My development, my life develops, my views develop, my knowledge develops.  Structure in life, thinking, aiming and learning is essential. We build around structure, it keeps us on track, or highlights when we need to branch off ..

And I do thrive!   We all thrive on change and growth, development, even the discomfort that brings.

 If there is one thing I wish someone had taught me – or helped me to learn – was that ‘change happens – it’s inevitable, its forced or it can be chosen – and that it will always be a little uncomfortable because it’s outcome will always be a little uncertain!

The best laid plans of mice and men …” is a key phrase I have learned, (“…go awry”) and the story behind it; also that “once you accept life if hard, it gets easier”.

This latter one means that life is meant to be lived – ups and downs, stress and pleasure, love and loss etc.   Opposites, developments, unforeseen events and situations we find ourselves in or even create for ourselves (good and bad).   But the outcome is always experience and learning

 “Knowledge is power

 These quotes are obviously shared because they are common to us all, because others had the realisation and want to share, and we share because we resonate with them too!

I have taken comments, views and quotes from a lot of places – people – recently, and they fit together.  Why?

Because I am aware of my journey, my current phase, my process – and I can identify what is going on for me, because I am self-aware (even if some people don’t think so/like to think so).  I have learned so much about me since I started psychology and counselling and coaching training which was quite formal instruction and information; from working in various jobs with various people – experience; from living a life I chose at times, and flexed enough to manage at others – more life experience.  Throughout it all I’ve learned skills – formal and less formal!   I have learned about life and living, and people – but mostly about me.

Knowing ‘me’, ‘myself’ and ‘I’ means I know what I want, need, ought to and have to do to get what I want and need.   I know that I can do it (if I choose to – put in the effort, make the sacrifices, choose and act etc).  It isn’t just happening for me, I am aware of me, my dreams, my goals and my needs, and what I might need to do to get there.  How?  From research, reading, learning, speaking to people, asking questions, analysing experiences, making informed decisions and making mistakes mostly I guess!

 “Goals are dreams with timescales attached”

change ahead mine

Perhaps, but we make goals for ourselves every day consciously and unconsciously; we make plans we don’t realise we are making and we commit to them more often without realising it than when we consciously, actively commit and admit to doing that!

So harness that power, that personal power that can give you the life you want to live.  That’s why I enjoy my coaching role – supporting others to find their dreams, to achieve them and to live how they choose to live.

Viktor Frankl (making the best of a bad situation – in Nazi German concentration camp with his son) is key in this learning, as are my hero’s Abraham Maslow (and his hierarchy of needs) and Carl Rogers (person centred approach to counselling – and life)…

“Know thyself” Aristotle

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